All Mothers Do

I loved her wildly. How could I not?! She birthed me. Raised me. Gave me breath, body, womb and life. She was THE ONE I wanted to shower my love upon more than anyone else.

And each time I connected to her from that vulnerable place so far down in my heart, I felt unlovability. It was a sensation so murky, dense and pervasive. It caused me to pull back, quick and fast, in to myself. Like a wild animal that hears a predator pacing nearby and darts for cover. My life depended on disconnection from my source of nurturance.

My life depended on disconnection from my source of nurturance.

Eventually I couldn’t see Unlovability as separate from myself. It wound its way deep into my blood and inside my bones. It sat smack-dab in the center of my brain. The relationships that wreck havoc on our heart provide a doorway to our liberation.

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