how it all ended... or was it how it all began?!

Standing in front of a glass sliding door. Moonlight streaming in. I’d come downstairs before the sun. Wrapping a long sheer scarf around my body. My bare feet standing atop a black sheep skin poised in the center of the room.

I turned the music on. Quiet. Not to wake anyone.
And began to feel it. Slow and deep. Generating from somewhere between my hips. Pulsating. Circling out from my pelvis. Traveling down my arms. Radiating throughout my belly. Into my legs.

I began to sway. Eyes closed. Head tossed back.
I couldn't stop caressing my own skin. Slow and sincere.
Weeping at Beauty.
I could feel it
inside my own flesh.

This dance wasn’t about anyone or anything outside me.
Nor was my nudity a seductive enticement.
It was about me.
And my connection to the universe.
To the raw force of my aliveness. And the darkness of sky. The glowing moonlight.
I still somehow remembered.
 

Photo from The Nest Project, with Debbie Baxter and the Owl Salon

Remembered a time living at my home in the woods.
I was awakened in the night by a magnetic force that drew me to the back room.
Standing naked before a full-length window. Dancing with moon as my partner.

I remembered the way my body came alive. To a rhythm pulsating from within. It was also being reflected from without. From the pull of the moon. And Her black mighty sky. And the mystery that lay entangled between cosmos and my flesh.

It was that intimate. And personal. Seamless.
It was a moment I will never forget.
I was alive to Life. Pulsating. Coursing. Making love to the universe with one breath.

Standing before another window now.
During another moon cycle. Another season in my life.
On this night. I felt it.
Again.
My breath quickened.
Was the cosmos calling me alive?! Was I breathing creation into this moment?!
 
I’d been lost and lifeless. Adrift for an eternity. My usual sustenance no longer worked or fueled me.
I’d been in a cycle of death and destruction.
Growing intimate with the wisdom and responsibility of dismantling. Decomposing. Dissolving.
Learning to welcome breath from alternate reserves.
 
I hadn't known who or how to be when I wasn’t creating.
Not known what my purpose was when I wasn’t focused on my connection to the deeper meaning and value of my life.
I’d said good-bye to creating.
To being guided. Inspired.
I’d said good-bye to the most intimate relationship I’d known with a universal order. With harmony, home, forest, tree and land.
I’d said good-bye to my father. To the Masculine I was born from, in form.
Feeling the earth move below my feet as something released I didn’t see coming.
I'd said good-bye to my inner wild fire.
Letting it simmer, settle, die down. To rest beneath something I had no name or sense of.

And now… naked before moon, I heard a whisper.
It said one word, “Create.”

I breathed it in.
A little too deep and quick at first.
And responded. More to myself than anyone else, “Really?!!”

“Really? Now? Is it time to create again? Can I? Do I even know how?!”

With tears in my eyes I heard the voice, “The only Yes! required is yours.”

I exhaled. And lay down on the black sheepskin rug.
Letting its softness envelop every bone, attachment and fragment of my form.
I breathed. Until the first light of morning broke through.
I could see my flesh with my own eyes.

Feminine Alchemy Immersion
The Aliveness Process

You'll be hearing more about them...
because they're designed just for You.
And for All of Life in these times.

They're here to offer something this world has not been able to provide.
Something you've been longing for. Wildly. Heartachingly.
A vast, deep, empty space
to really sink in to.
To listen to the magic of creation
as it pulses and beats
deep in your chest.
To feel the wonder of all life
as it moves through your blood and bones.
And awakens.
And breathes.
Teaching you about where your unique and sincere power actually resides.
And how it comes alive through your own flesh and body.

These are my in-depth Mentorship journeys.
Where you are held in my wild-hearted nourishment and feminine intuitive care.
To discover how the love of life lives in you.

I'm opening up 3 spots this spring.
Email me below to further explore.
It's a beautiful time to rediscover and define why you're alive.

Reach out if you feel called to enter in...